I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now, but only now, a full year on, am I really able to make complete sense of the past 4 years. After I left my abusive relationship, I had absolutely no idea that the hell I had waved goodbye to, was only the beginning of a new torment which was even harder to understand than my abusive relationship. The last 12 months of my life has been a chaotic stint consisting mainly of people sticking their nose into my business which, on the most part, I have been thankful for. However, there have also been moments where the intrusion into my private life has caused seriously anxiety, overburden and shed-loads of self pity.
I want to share my story with everybody for two reasons. Firstly, I want to challenge the stigma attached to Domestic Violence. I’m a ‘normal girl,’ I’m well educated, I’m motivated and I grew up in a kind, loving home. I always had (and still have) high expectations of my life and I would never have been considered vulnerable by any agency or individual who knew me. I had never been in a violent relationship before despite statistics and assumptions which imply that people who engage in abusive relationships once, do it time and time again, because this is the type of person they are attracted to. In my blog I want to move away from the ‘victim’ stereotype and warn people that domestic abuse can happen to ANYONE, at any time in their life, regardless of their class, education status, background or relationship history. Domestic abuse worms its way into every crevice of society and no one should be so bold to say it will never happen to them.
The second reason I wanted to write the blog is to guide survivors of domestic abuse through the minefield which is the escape process. I’m not going to lie and claim that life instantly improves because that is unlikely. In my experience (I have children), life became incredibly full with a mixed bag of people who were either incredibly supportive and empathetic or incredibly cold and confounding and who had probably followed the wrong career path. I intend to be brutally honest about the bad and good bits of the systems in place for domestic abuse survivors and perpetrators in the UK. I’m nowhere near the end of my journey, but I can see a chink a light. I hope there are people who will find my blog comforting, informative and interesting.